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Monday morning musings: Starting over…

on Apr 11, 2016

It occurred to me not too long ago that I’ve been living in the past. Reflecting on the past has its uses for sure: developing character, instigating change. But, in general, it’s not a good idea to dwell there as a substitute for actually living in the present. So, on that note, there’s this little niggly thing that’s been bothering me that I need to deal with once and for all. Confession: I am no longer fit. (Crickets) It’s not even the outward appearance that I struggle with the most; a good outfit can hide a multitude of sins. It’s the fact that, despite my quite obviously unfit body, in my head I still think I’m in the same place I was 15 years ago, fitness-wise. In my head I’m still a lean, mean running machine. I could sit on my rear end all winter and get up in spring and knock off 5 km like nothing. Heck, I ran a marathon! But really, how long can you NOT run, and NOT be fit,...

Always moving. Going nowhere.

on Apr 6, 2016

I feel like a caged animal. Always moving. My calendar is full. My schedule is busy. I have lots of important things to do and places to go and people to see. You know those animals in the zoo? Not the little guys, or the reptiles. The big ones. Lions. Bears. You know the type. Their environment dictated by walls and fences. In the wild, they’d be roaming. Covering hundreds of kilometres in search of food. A mate. Family. Migrant. Moving. Going somewhere with some purpose. But in the zoo, they are confined. And so they go. But it’s around and around. Wearing a path on the perimeter of the enclosure. Always moving. Going nowhere. In a rut. That’s how I feel. I’ve erected walls and isolated myself in an enclosure. It keeps me safe and spectators firmly at a distance. I don’t let many people in. And I rarely venture out. It’s generous in size, and yet, it’s more confining than what I was...

Peace… relatively speaking

on Jan 21, 2016

These two. They are two years and six months apart. You would think that would be enough distance to allow each her own space to be the individual she was created to be. They are as different as night and day both in physical characteristics and in personality and character. And they bicker. Oh.my.goodness. There are days when I want to pull my hair out. Some days, the pettiness and the vitriol that comes spewing out of their mouths causes my blood pressure to spike. I can feel it. And then, there are days like this one. Where they are best friends. Each other’s number one fan. I never know which one it’s going to be when the sun rises. And from how it begins to how it ends can be two entirely different things also. Who knows what triggers the swirling, pre-pubescent emotions of a young lady? But for this day, I’ll take the peace that accompanies the excitement of a new instrument...

Stupid things you do when you’re diagnosed with cancer. (Episode One: Family photos)

on Jan 15, 2016

Someday, I desire for this little corner of the Internet to be more than what it is. I have big dreams for this baby. At the moment, it’s a catch-all for my seemingly random firings. Little stories, anecdotes, things that get me thinking. There’s mostly no rhyme or reason to my entries, except that in my daily battle to write and my own pressure to post, every now and then, it’s crap here. Plain and simple. I admit it. But, as with my office—which is perennially disorganized with piles of things that forever need “filing” or “sorting”—or my computer photo storage program, which, quite frankly, is a mess, my blog remains at the bottom of a pile of wishful thinking. For now. However, when my wishful thinking becomes reality, this entry will be filed under the heading: Stupid things you do when you’re diagnosed with cancer. November 2014. Three weeks post-diagnosis. Email a photographer,...

Page 1 of 365 – Faith. Hope. Love.

on Jan 8, 2016

So. Happy New Year. You’ll have to excuse my lack of enthusiasm and exclamation points. I’m having a hard time these days. I struggle with the whole Christmas season, so by the time all the festivities have wrapped up, I’m ready to just run for the hills and not come back. I survived Christmas this year, but I’m not gonna lie, December was hard. The days are short and dark and in Calgary—where I live—it’s cold. So, now it’s January, typically a time of fresh starts and resolutions. But, quite honestly, even though I’m generally an optimistic person by nature, I’m not feeling the excitement of the New Year. Reflecting on 2015, I realize that it was perhaps a more difficult year than I thought as I was battling my way through parts of it. It began with a brutal head cold. “What started as a tickle in my throat on December 29, has become a nagging sore throat, irritated, coughing and...

Hold the bacon…

on Nov 20, 2015

I felt my world shift a little bit the other day. Of course, it wasn’t a literal earthquake, but no less unsettling. Well, maybe slightly less unsettling. A friend casually interjected this piece of information into a conversation. “Oh, haven’t you heard? Some new research out of the WHO (World Health Organization) has basically concluded that bacon causes cancer. “ There. Did you feel that? I’m sure the earth just moved. And sure enough, within days of that earth-shifting revelation, this was the cover of Time Magazine. Unfortunately for this meat-loving gal, the war on delicious doesn’t actually begin and end with bacon. It encompasses an entire food group! MEAT! (With the exception of chicken, which somehow has remained unscathed in all of this.) “The categories of meat in the new study are broad and inclusive. Red meat is defined as “all types of mammalian muscle meat, such as...