Category: Uncategorized

A Season of Unraveling: finding grace in a time of transition

A Season of Unraveling: finding grace in a time of transition

Author Sue Monk Kidd writes, “If you think God leads you only beside still waters, think again. He will also lead you beside turbulent waters. If you have the courage to enter, you’ll think you’re drowning. But actually, you’re being churned into something new.”

I’m in a season of churning, unravelling, waiting, transition… however you choose to label it, it’s hard. There are tears.

But there is also grace. And the promise that whatever God allows to unravel, He will re-make.

If you’re finding yourself inexplicably stuck, perhaps you’re also in a time of transition?

Maybe you simply need to hear that waiting isn’t doing nothing; it’s trusting that transformative work is being done on the inside.

Advent Reflections: Savouring the Season

Advent Reflections: Savouring the Season

I don’t know about you, but December seems to sneak up on me every single year. This year, I’m on a mission to slow down and savour all the season of Advent–the four weeks leading up to Christmas–has to offer. Advent is, after all, all about preparation. But it’s the heart–not the to-do list–that gets the time and attention. When I slow down just a smidge and take the time to wrap my head and my heart around the reason we celebrate Christmas, all the other stuff seems to fall into a place that is no longer the boss of me. Read on…

Happy Birthday to Me: Two things, 365 days, a life lived outward

Happy Birthday to Me: Two things, 365 days, a life lived outward

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to celebrate my 50th birthday! It’s a milestone and I want to mark it properly! I’ve come up with two things for the next 365 days that I hope will turn each day of my life into a “hilarious, whimsical, meaningful chance to make faith simple and real.” This is your invitation to come along for the ride, no matter how old you are. Let’s celebrate together! Read on…

Just a sec… are you missing out?

Just a sec… are you missing out?

What do a trip to the grocery store with a toddler and a Starbucks drive-thru have in common? I have a couple of stories that may make you think about delayed obedience in a new light. Do you hear that “still, small voice” in your head and think, “Just a sec…”? Then there might be something here for you. Read on…

Monday Morning Musings: On holding the reins loosely

Monday Morning Musings: On holding the reins loosely

My inner control freak learned a few Advent lessons this past week. It turns out that one key to managing expectations during the holiday season is “holding the reins loosely.” Do you feel like you’re hanging on as tight as you can, letting the season drag you along at warp speed? Maybe there’s something in here for you today?

Advent: taking a breath in a season that tends to leave us breathless

Advent: taking a breath in a season that tends to leave us breathless

It’s December, which means we tend to start racing the clock and the calendar to the finish line. Christmas Day. What if we simply paused each day of Advent to take a deep breath?
What would it look like to focus on preparing our hearts instead of our homes, and anticipating the Gift, instead of the gifts? Read on…

Monday Morning Musings: An unconventional beauty

Monday Morning Musings: An unconventional beauty

I visited an exhibition of some works of the Dutch and Flemish Masters a few years ago, during a short visit to Amsterdam. There were works by Van Gogh, Vermeer, Rembrandt, and Rubens, to name a few. These are considered priceless pieces of art, held under lock and key, deemed museum-worthy by someone’s standard.

Crowds line up to see these masterpieces, and though some of these meticulously painted canvases are breathtaking in their detail and portrayal of subject, occasionally, I fail to see what all the fuss is about.

I am the beholder and I don’t see beauty. My eyes see crude brushstrokes and muddy colour, lack of depth, distorted faces and shapes.

I guess that’s why I’m not curating any museum collections.

One of the pieces I had the pleasure of viewing was a little known work by Dutch artist Egon Schiele, called Portrait of Edith. Edith is the artist’s wife.

By earthly standards, as Schiele depicts her, she could hardly be described as beautiful. Her hair is a little askew, she is oddly shaped, her pale face is mottled and she holds only the faintest hint of a smile. Her husband has painted her on an empty background, in which she almost appears to be hanging. Her hands dangle uselessly.

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But her eyes tell a different story. They are warm and inviting. Her dress is vivid, stripes of exuberant colour that jump off the neutral canvas.

All I could think as I looked at this woman was her husband’s love for her. The adoration that is so evident in this painting of a plain-looking, flawed, ordinary woman, elevated to radiance through the eyes of her husband.

It causes me to consider God’s role in art. After all, He is the original master artist, creator of everything in and of this earth. Including me.

Including you.

Have you ever stopped for a moment and considered that? You are a masterpiece.

But, whose eyes do you see yourself through? Are you a reflection of the artist who made you? Or are you looking through a different lens?

The media tells us how we should look, how we should dress, how we should act, and that age is simply a thing to defy. Do you measure up to society’s standard?

So many women are dissatisfied with themselves. Their bodies. Their hair. Their clothes. And the only people that benefit are the industries that feed our dissatisfaction. Those marketing gurus that tell us if we wear this makeup, or those clothes, or lose that weight, then everything will be better. Our life will be brighter.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not advocating that all women just start letting themselves go. I’m all for mascara, lip gloss and cover up; heaven knows that sometimes the dark circles beneath my eyes need a little help!

And despite my general disdain for exercise, I know the importance of being healthy and fit.

I certainly don’t want to be defined by how I look–because by society’s standard, my grey hair and plain face already miss the mark. Edith and I have that in common.

Instead, I want to embrace all the wonderful things that age brings with it: wisdom, perspective, authenticity, security, contentment. These things are true beauty.

Look at Psalm 139:13- 18

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!”

What a picture of how God, the master artist, sees the author!

We live in a world filled with plain-looking, flawed and broken people. We are all brushed with different strokes; our colours are muddy and our faces and shapes distorted. This is who we are.

And God thinks you are beautiful!

By His standard you are museum-worthy.

 

 

Engagements and the lasting properties of tin foil

Engagements and the lasting properties of tin foil

Sixteen years ago this week, my husband got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I answered yes (obviously). But the bigger question here is, who remembers an engagement anniversary?

(Except for my niece, whose engagement video (yes, video) went viral on Youtube and ended up on syndicated television in the US. I can see how maybe she might remember that 16 years on.)

But the rest of us. Really?

Or maybe it’s just me?

I’m not really great with dates in general. But for some reason this one has made its way into my love’s Blackberry calendar. (He’s evidently not that great with dates either.) So, we celebrate the engagement. I won’t ever complain about dinner out.

While I don’t have any recall on the date, I do remember the occasion perfectly. He hatched the plan one evening, getting my two daughters—who were eight and 10 at the time—to scheme along with him.

I was taking evening classes, finishing up the last few requirements of my degree program while working full-time, so every Tuesday evening, he would come over to my place and watch the girls while I was at school.

In my absence, they concocted a plan that involved a tin foil ring (and a couple of prototypes).

When I got home from school, they ambushed me, so I didn’t have time to be annoyed that they weren’t in bed yet. (Well played, kids!)

Giggling, the girls greeted me at the door and led me to where Chris was waiting with a ring box in his pocket. When I was positioned in just the right spot (masking tape x on the carpet?) he dropped to one knee and took my hand.

He pulled the box out of his pocket and proceeded to open it, revealing the most beautiful tin foil engagement ring I had ever seen. (In fact, it was likely the only tinfoil engagement ring I had ever seen… for reasons which will quickly become apparent.)

This ring is way nicer than the one I was presented with, but you get the idea.
This ring is way nicer than the one I was presented with. Apparently, there are others out there who took advantage of tin foil too! Who knew?

As he attempted to slip it onto my ring finger, it fell apart—which is where the prototypes came in handy. Quickly, the kids whipped out another one, hopefully sturdier than the last. Note to self: back-up engagement rings should be a thing!

They instructed me to close my eyes and swapped out the tinfoil beauty for an actual real engagement ring. And I knew when I opened my eyes that we weren’t playing anymore. Suddenly, this was real.

We had talked about marriage, so it wasn’t a complete surprise. We hadn’t talked timing, so a Tuesday evening in October was a surprise. But it was a welcome surprise.

It wasn’t a decision I made lightly. My yes didn’t just impact him and me and the fluttery butterflies of new love. My yes was a commitment on behalf of my daughters too. I had to decide that I was willing to take a chance on love again and this time had to consider there were three hearts involved. No longer just one.

There were some people in my life who, for one reason or another, thought I was making a mistake. Another mistake, perhaps. After all, look how well the first marriage worked out for me. By that token, maybe I should have been more skeptical of the symbolic properties of a ring that promptly fell apart?

But 16 years on, this man has cherished and loved not only me, but my daughters too, more than I ever could have hoped for or imagined.

It had nothing at all to do with the ring and—tinfoil or gold—the promise it held is what counts.

During our wedding ceremony four months later, he included vows to both my daughters also, presenting them each with a keepsake box marking a day that was significant for all of us. (Tucked inside each box resides one of the tin foil prototypes.)

Two more daughters now round out our estrogen-heavy family. And I could not ask for a more kind, gentle, loving guy to wrap his arms around us all.

These days, his knees aren’t quite what they used to be. A lifetime of soccer is taking a toll on his body, piece by piece. But if he happened to bend awkwardly down in front of me with a twisted up piece of tinfoil in hand, I’d say yes all over again. (And then help him up.)

Happy Anniversary.

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Be Still and Know: a reminder for everyday

Be Still and Know: a reminder for everyday

I’m not much of a jewelry wearer. Though I love the sparkle of diamonds and can seldom walk purposefully past a shop window glittering with gemstones, I’m not dripping in diamonds and most days can be found with the same pair of little studs in my ears. My wedding rings usually stay on. Occasionally I’ll wear a necklace. Almost never a watch.

But I have this bracelet. I wear it most days. It’s not gold or silver. It’s not expensive nor does it glitter. But it is precious to me. Because it carries a simple message that whispers to my heart.

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Life is crazy, isn’t it? Do you feel like that sometimes?

You’re in a season of life and it’s full and busy. And we think there’s salvation in the next stage. But each stage has its own crazy and busy. Each is different and yet so much the same.

Don’t misunderstand me. There is so much good in each season too. The crazy and the busy aren’t necessarily bad. Our lives are full of activity and relationship and work and things that challenge us, mold us and shape us.

It’s just that it all happens so fast.

We always seem to find what it takes to get through each stage, even though when we’re in the trenches it’s hard to see the big picture.

And then, just when the big picture comes into view, sometimes life throws you a curveball.

  • You lose your job.
  • Money is tight.
  • You have kids.
  • Someone gets sick.
  • A diagnosis of some kind.
  • Marriage ends.
  • A loved one dies.
  • Parents age.
  • Something happens with the kids.

The curveball looks different to everyone. It rolls in like a tidal wave, sheer size and force and power. And it’s hard not to get swept up in the emotion of it all. It moves quickly. It’s overwhelming.

Be Still.

And Know.

Four little words that carry with them the reminder that I’m not alone in the midst of the crazy.

The ability to sit in stillness—to find rest and peace and contentment there—is a lost art for most and I am no exception.

In the grocery store line, I whip out my phone to check my Facebook feed or the latest Instagram photos. In the doctor’s office waiting room, I check my email. If I’m waiting in the car for my daughter to come out after school, I can be found scrolling local news sites or reading my ibook. A steady stream of stimulation keeps my mind tossing and turning.

I may tune out the tsunami of my life for a moment or two, but I fill the deafening silence with other clutter.

And so I wear this little reminder.

Be Still.

And Know.

The words are rooted in scripture.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”
~Psalm 46:1-3

Sounds like a curveball doesn’t it? And yet, in the midst of it all—earth moving, mountains trembling, waters roaring—there is the invitation to simply be still.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
~Ps. 46:10

Four little words that remind me to just chill.

Stop worrying.

Relax.

Trust.

Trust that no matter what I’m going through, and no matter which season I’m in, I can know without a doubt that I am loved.

And I will find what I need to get through it.

And I will come out the other side a different person—better, stronger, perhaps more humble, but certainly changed.

Be Still.

And Know.